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Playing badminton is what I’d consider a picnic or summer barbecue style game. A game of fun and laughter. However, here in competitive Wuhan, it’s the real deal.

Last Friday, I luckily received the day off because my 2nd graders were granted a lovely trip to a military training base, I think. Around noon, I get a message from Grace - noted name from one of my raps about how I couldn’t get a date with her - asking if I wanted to play badminton. I asked where because I figured the options were our school and the nearby park. “25 minutes on the 707,” she said and I began questioning the intensity of this game while I prepared my cutoff shorts for play.

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Found in , china, stories, wuhan No Comments »

When I began teaching, I was given a 2-book set with a set of cassettes that I constantly ignore. Also at my disposal, is a set of 200 to 300 8.5 x 11 photos portraying fruits and vegetables, sports and activities, and lots of other things. However, some of them are just ridicuous; one of these strange pictures comes with the word “German” and instead of describing it, you should just see it.

I haven’t met a lot of Germans in my days, but I’m sure some are women, some have straight hair, some shave their stubble and, oh yeah, I don’t think they always carry beers around. Do you know a German? What is he or she like?

Found in , china, teaching, wuhan 7 Comments »

For this installment of my favorite words and phrases, I felt like I’d keep it short and super-sweet. But then I thought, NO WAY! I should drag this one out like crazy. And that exactly is the phrase that I am presenting to you. It is “mei men” and it works like no way in that passage above. The literal translation is “no doors” and if you consider it very deeply, it makes some sense. Because it also means “impossible” as in there are no doors that will lead you to that.

Some awesome examples:
Rebecca: “Can you teach an extra class?”
Me: “Mei men.”

Steven: “Do you want to go to the gym?”
Me: “Mei men.”

Me: “Do you want to go on a date?”
Chinese girls: “Mei men.”

Found in , china, words, wuhan 4 Comments »

Just when I thought that no one in Wuhan or China could dance, my girlfriend told me about her friend who was in fact a competition champion at breaking. This dude, coming in a few inches shorter than me runs a small hip-hop dance studio with a bunch of talented dancers. They tried to teach me and John, John taking advantage of a free lesson and me, being shy in the back corner.

They had a formal lesson, which included the 4-step to handstand stall (I’m not sure what the 2nd move was called), but it was really dope. I forgot to bring my camera, but I will get ahold of the pictures taken on other people’s cameras and post them up on here. Me and John are going to start a rival studio in our school, auditions start tomorrow.

Later that night, in hip hop tradition, we had a freestyle showdown. With Dave as our beatbox, - he was impressive in his beats and boxes - we were able to go off for about 10 minutes of the whitest rapping ever to take place. It was intriguing to say the least. This will become a weekly thing, I hope.

Everybody, everybody
Let’s play a game
Let’s play a game
Everybody, everybody
Let’s say a chant
Let’s say a chant
Everybody, everybody
Let’s sing and dance
Let’s sing and dance
Everybody, Everybody
Let’s have fun
Let’s have fun

Found in , china, stories, wuhan 2 Comments »

Today is part two of “Have you seen a child cry today? I have.” I saw a child cry and was in the presence of the former cry-inducer. It was any normal day, teaching some adorable 2nd-graders about guessing games and choosing students to guess.

Then all of a sudden, without any action from the cry-creator, a boy got really mad at me, when I chose another student to come to the front of the room to participate in what I thought was a totally wu liao you xi or using my favorite chinese word, a boring game. This game involved me standing a student in front of the class and spouting out questions like “Who is he? How old is she? What’s his favorite animal? What’s her hobby?”

Apparently, this boy really wanted to play and was quite insulted when I didn’t choose him. He threw a mini-fit that turned into telling my assistant that I hadn’t chosen him for any games in the last three classes. In about a minute, he broke out into tears just in time for the bell to ring and for class to be over.

The moral of the story is: kids cry from meanness, but also from lack of participation in poorly planned games.

Found in , china, stories, teaching, wuhan No Comments »

Last weekend, we went bowling as the five flowers (John, Colette, Steven, Linda, and me). Months ago, we went bowling, which I believe I documented briefly. The last time, we went to a small, maybe 10 lane alley with little atmosphere and only four flowers and liam/leo/leom. This time, we went big, going all the way out about an hour for a big-time alley of 40 lanes.

If I didn’t mention the last trip, which I now believe is the truth, I’ll add this. Steven loves bowling and likes trash talking me. He bowls like a fiend and I bowl like a spleen (does that rhyme and display that I don’t bowl well).

So, we go to this place, which puts a bowling alley on the second floor and a pool on the third floor, I don’t know who they hire here for building planning, but it’s always funny. I bowled three horrible games, Steven bowled some awesomeness, Linda bowled a record number of gutter balls and we also got to play musical chairs (4 chairs 5 people). Steven mentioned Colette’s figure only a little bit. Later we ate some steak.

Found in , china, stories, wuhan 2 Comments »

Some great details I feel necessary to share with you: the group formerly known as the four flowers has been changed to the five flowers featuring c. scree. This change is due to the addition of new teacher John to Yu Cai and to sorrow felt by c. scree on his lack of admission into the four flowers. Scree can now be seen with a smile, big black boots and a tie.

Also, an update to my Starbucks article. The Wuhan newspapers have been reporting that Starbucks coffee is terrible and around the quality of McDonald’s; I attribute that to the fact that Chinese people don’t like coffee. Countering this newspaper disparaging is the fact that another Starbucks is being built in Hankou and will likely be finished rather soon. I like coffee.

Found in , china, wuhan 3 Comments »

This time I have decided to go in another direction with my favorite words, mainly, I have chosen 2 words at the same time and chosen English as the language of choice.

The first has been a long-time favorite of mine. Needn’t. Yes, some would say it isn’t a word, and I’d be one of those, but at my school, it is a word. It is a word that causes great joy. The time I always hear it is when I am about to go unpreparedly to teach the 6th graders. Now, you might say, “why are you, Mr. Prepared, not prepared?” I’d tell you, “I don’t have a book and the 6th graders are so quiet and uninterested.” So, when I see Rebecca enter the office and say “needn’t,” I high-five her and go home.

The second isn’t so much good as it is awful. Recently, while attending Babi Bar, one of my favorite clubs by the river, a well-spoken Chinese girl approached me and after the introductions, she showed me to her friends and referred to them as “homeboys” and “homegirls.” This was enough for her to have captured my heart. I will not be returning to America as I want to have a “homegirl” that is “fly” (she says that too). I told her that her English slang is awful and have hired myself as her slang tutor. She wants me to speak local slang, too, so beware, that may be on the way.

I am returning to America, don’t worry.

Found in , china, words, wuhan 5 Comments »